The Life Cycle of My Latest Funk

How I work my way in, through and out of a funk.

For the audiophiles:

I’m working my way out of a funk.

I’m digging deep to find why I’ve entered this particular mood and stumble upon a lengthy drop down list of options. In the physical category, I see myself home too much, an unexpected sick child home, a nagging injury, a blank calendar. Variables both in and out of my control. Inside my brain, I’m burying myself trying to quickly answer life’s lingering questions like “What am I doing with this one, precious life?” or “What is my true purpose?”. The mental game, while in my control, often is the hardest to control.

This morning, my husband was the lucky recipient of my proclamation of “I just gotta get outta here” accompanied by a heavier than usual closing of the door. He’s just the luckiest sometimes.

I know myself. I know I have to get out of my house and back to the library - aka my writing room, my cathartic corner. That’s where I currently fill my soul and fulfill my purpose outside of my family and home. As a Type 3, a lack of work time can quickly lead to my biggest fears - feelings of failure or a lack of success.

I recently outlined my ideal writing day to a curious friend. Wake up. Workout. Shower. Feed kids. Hug kids out the door. Pack my lunch and computer bag. Tidy the house. Grab to go Peets coffee at 9:45 a.m. Find my favorite library seat at 10:00 a.m. when they open.

Today, I tweaked it. Woke up. No workout (life goes on). Showered. Fed kids. Hugged kids out the door. Packed my lunch and computer bag. Did not tidy the house (life goes on). Sit at Peets for coffee at 8:45 a.m. with just my journal and headphones, leaving the computer in the car (shhh). Wrote pen to paper for 1 hour in the coffee shop. Then, found my favorite library seat at 10:00 a.m.

During my new found let it flow writing time of just one hour, I rode a rollercoaster of emotions. I wrote the word BUT 43 times (curious what that implies), developed a Friday Five, and drafted a realistic to-do list. I dumped big life questions on the paper but spent zero time attempting to answer them.

The result? Evidently this post and a feeling of me again.

I reminded myself that my professional job right now is simply to keep writing—one word after the next, one paragraph on top of the other, one post building upon the last. Taking baby steps towards something bigger. Exactly what? That’s TBD at a later date. For right now, it’s baby steps towards finding everyday happiness - which just might be the biggest thing of all.

My happy place.