Hold, Please...

I have a list of excuses to get through before I can live my life.

I have a fake list of things I need to mentally half way clear but certainly not cross off the to-do list before I put my butt in the seat and write.

Feed my plants.

Clean out the vacuum (no chore too gross evidently).

Relabel bins in kids closets (very rare chance of this happening).

Fold laundry I’ve been staring at for four days.

Scroll.

Schedule a low taper fade/broccoli haircut (IYKYK).

Put clothes requested by kids in cart (but don’t purchase?).

Put clothes for me in cart (but don’t purchase, repeat offender here).

Replace old photos (a forever long and not happening soon process).

Find my next library book.

Think about exercising.

Think more about exercising.

Do a deep dive on fancy decorative stitches for next needlepoint project (supes important).

Meditate (currently failing at a self imposed challenge).

Pay my credit card (done!).

Write something.

Think about dinner.

Think about purchasing any of the items I picked for breakfast room/office/bedroom/any room redo.

Think about all of the half way done projects around this aging house.

Think about…

My actual to-do list doesn’t say think about but reality is, that’s what I do. I just think about those things getting done one day, spending more time ruminating on them, ultimately, delaying enjoying my actual soul-filling work.

This writing venture (like any new venture) is hard, challenging, taking more willpower, discipline and brain energy than I have some…errr…many days.

Bottom line. I’m full of excuses.

I’ve been preaching about excuses for years when it comes to helping people clear physical clutter. I can hear the people whine “I need the right bins then I will clean out my office” or “Once I get new workout clothes, I’ll start working out.” or the most unrealistic, “Once I can set aside a whole weekend, I’ll clean out my entire house.” Not true, not true and soooo not true.

And yet here I am…telling myself that if I could get all of these fictitious to dos done, then I could start writing my next chapter, literally and figuratively.

Well, Laura. Not true.

The to-do list, constantly in flux of low, high and no priority items, will forever be there. The attention I pay to it and the time I give it is totally up to me. So far, staring at that lifeless list has felt pretty life-sucking. And honestly, that’s not the kind of life I want to live.

So instead, I’ll write about it which in itself is a form of procrastination, but one that at least lets me check something off my to-do list.

My most recent procrastination purchase - this Task Pad. I love it so and really anything from Shorthand, a pen and paper playland, in San Anselmo.

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ICYMI….on how my brain works.