Beef Tallow, Anyone?
How do we even know what to believe anymore?
“Would you like to sit here?” I offered to move seats after my coffee shop neighbor awkwardly tried to reach an outlet under my legs.
“Oh that would be so helpful. Thank you.”
My setup included my coffee, computer and bag - making moving easy. His computer, sunglasses, water bottle, egg sandwich, notebook….and twenty-two supplements piled on the table made his move not so easy. The moment turned awkward when each pill fell in slow motion to the floor, his sunglasses and pens joining them. There we were - two strangers rubbing shoulders, heads inches apart, under the table attempting to gather every, little thing.
He broke the tension with “I’m a sucker for an instagram ad. I even added beef tallow to my pill pile and eliminated coffee from my morning mashup. All in an attempt to stay young.”
Never one to take many pills and maxing out at fish oil for my animal pill intake, I loved this real life example of two completely different approaches to “staying young” which left me wondering - how can any of us know what version actually works? And how are we supposed to decipher the never-ending options and opinions?
Exhibit A: my current perimenopausal body.
Opinions on frozen shoulder:
Opinion A: “Hang your arm down and make a circular motion.”
Opinion B: “If someone tells you to hang your arm down and make a circular motion, they don’t know what they are talking about.
Opinion C: “There’s nothing you can really do. Just get a cortisone shot.”
Opinion D: “You have a hormone problem.”
Opinion E: “Whoever said this is a hormone problem should be fired.”
Opinions on IUDs:
Opinion A: I would keep your IUD as long as you can. I’ve seen way too many patients regret removing it because of the side effects.
Opinion B: The first thing I’d like to recommend is to remove your IUD.
Opinions on mitigating mid-life weight gain:
Opinion A: Intermittent fasting is the easiest way to lose perimenopausal weight. Keep your eating window between 11 a.m. and 7:00 p.m.
Opinion B: The most important meal of the day for a woman is breakfast. Their body is looking for nutrients early.
Opinion C: Want to try a GLP-1?
Unfortunately, this amount of conflicting information sends my brain flopping uncontrollably a la an inflatable person at a car dealership. My whiplashed mind doesn’t know which path to choose.
Ultimately, I take the tiniest baby steps you ever did see down the longest, unmarked path, only to find myself stubbornly sitting criss-cross applesauce in the middle of it. Moving nowhere while placing blame everywhere.
Recently, my general curiosity led me to an Al-Anon meeting where I learned the three As: awareness, acceptance and action. The As are the livable part of what can feel like a spiritual practice. They help you face what’s real, release what you can’t change, and take responsibility for yourself.
My biggest takeaway from the meeting is realizing the program is the greatest version of self-care. I’m currently “working the program.”
I’m fully aware I have (literally) been frozen by the unmarked path ahead, practically avoiding dealing with the various situations (e.g. making three trips to Goodwill before making one dr. appt. for myself). I’m moving through acceptance by shifting from blaming anyone (maybe this was your fault?) and reminding myself that these are the facts. Slowly but surely, I’m spending less energy on denial and blame, freeing up more energy to actually care for myself.
I’ll keep that mindset as I face this real mid-life journey by booking follow up appointments with the practitioners I trust most while keeping my eye on the prize of feeling like my best self.
And yes, I’ll still complain (a little/lot?) while attempting to down this minute’s recommended combo of fiber and protein after my 10,000 steps (but now without a weighted vest). I’ll visualize obtaining free-range-of-motion shoulders, hormonal balance and loose-fitting jeans. I’ll willingly pop my supplements and do my stretches all while declaring this body forever beef tallow free. At least there’s one thing I’m certain about.
Perfect! Can apply to everyone in early to late adulthood- we’re all trying a million different steps and sunsets are the only positive answer!