Am I Your Bro?

Trying to understand teen language with an adult brain.

It’s like they are speaking another language - learning it from a secret place, far far from any dictionary we have ever used.

When 15-year-old Jane called me “bro,” I literally two-handed my chest and said, “Girl, I am not your bro.”

When the entire under-25 population erupted after the In-N-Out employee said ‘Guest Six Seven”, the disruption was so great they removed the number from the system. Nationwide.

When I dropped Grant off on time for his Bar Mitzvah class, he showed dismay at his punctual arrival, preferring to be ten minutes late. “Mom, that’s Hebrew sweat just hanging out with the teachers before anyone else arrives.” Come again?

When my sons say, “Preesh, Mom,” I attempt to focus on their appreciation and refrain from requesting, yet again, “Can you please speak English?”

I have questions.

How does this language spread? Is it one source that decides to pick a random number or abbreviate everything and then magically make it go viral? Is this an attempt to make parents feel even older and more out of touch with their kids?

Should I try and learn their language? Actually, this “unc” knows that answer - absolutely not. My kids would immediately say “airball” to whatever phrase I attempted to use, even if I used it “correctly.”

But in the midst of all this gibberish, sometimes you will hear plain old English, like I did at 10:17 a.m. yesterday when my teen said, “You’re an awesome mom.”

Preesh, Elliott. Preesh.

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In case this is Greek to you, here’s a teen dictionary:

Bro - anyone, any gender, any age, must end all sentences, can be pronounced bruh or even just a brr sound
Six Seven - don’t worry about it, that one has come and gone
Hebrew sweat - you tell me
Preesh - Appreciate
Unc - short for uncle (I assume?), anyone over 35, let’s say
Airball - a missed joke as a kid but any joke as an adult

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash